


Taming a Stray

by GabrielTunichtgut



Category: Fallout: New Vegas
Genre: F/M, Gen, M/M, Multi, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2011-07-27
Updated: 2011-07-26
Packaged: 2017-10-21 19:31:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/228922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GabrielTunichtgut/pseuds/GabrielTunichtgut
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Arcade joined up with the group of the Courier, he didn't expect one of his followers to be this... distracting. However, things just don't turn out like in those pre-war fairy tales.  Contains M/M Romance, Arcade/OC follower of the Courier<br/>Much drama to come.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

When the Courier had asked Arcade Gannon to come along with him, he hadn't expected the other companions this man had with him. They were a bunch of crazy  if amiable  fuckers. But who wasn't nowadays?

One of them entered the Old Mormon Fort with a smoky cigarette in the corner of his mouth. For a guy he had an unusual, elegant stroll and a certain kind of charm surrounded him. It was a rough, and yet smooth, charm. He had pushed the door open with strong, slightly tanned arms. He wore a black desperado cowboy hatthat cast deep shadows onto his face, and a smirk spread on it like that of a coyote. His shaggy sideburns were a red brown color that did not hinder a stunning first impression at all, but rather intensified it.

Arcade reddened a little. This was so unlike him. This guy looked too much like his post apocalyptic Prince Charming. Sure, Arcade was kind of reclusive when it came to personal feelings, but he was also far from being shy. It was rare that the mere physical presence of someone carried him away like this. Or should he rather say, 'scooped him off his feet'? No, that expression was too strong.

However, he knew that there had to be a hitch in spite of the man's superficially polished appearance. There always was. Things just didn't turn out like in those old pre-war fairy tales. Yes, Arcade knew them quite well. Not that he would admit it to anybody.

"Well, who have we here, Luke?" the newcomer, who was still smirking, asked. At such a close distance Arcade could see his face more clearly and because the man had to look up to maintain eye contact with him, Arcade could see the shadows play over his face nicely. He was easily four inches shorter than Arcade even if as easily as much broader. Moreover, the man had to be a bit older than him judging by all the (admittedly attractive) wrinkles.

Suddenly, Arcade noticed that he man's blue eyes were glistening dangerously. This was a predator looking back at him. His voice was pleasantly low and scratchy; a real heavy smoker then. The drags he took from his cigarette were deep and needy to support that assumption.

"I'm Arcade Gannon; researcher for the Followers of the Apocalypse," Arcade introduced himself resolutely after a few more moments of silence to recollect himself.

"And I'm Ted, Ted Lancaster. A stray in the wild wasteland. Or so I was until lucky Luke here picked me up," the other introduced himself, gently patting Luke, who was standing next to him, on the shoulder. He never broke eye contact with Arcade. Arcade was being assessed and he knew it. It would be a lie if he said that he didn't enjoy it. Arcade was most certainly not the prey typeno matter how much how the man would want that.

After a few more moments of appreciating each other's presence, the blonde noticed a cyborg dog sitting at Ted's feet. The beast had barked one time and was wagging its tail happily while eyeing Arcade, its head tilted to one side. This was strange. The man didn't exactly look like a scientist  no, not even close to one - and he hadn't introduced himself as such either. Arcade stared at the beast with a questioning look as if it would give him the answer.

"We got him from The King. Rex has some brain leaking problems and we wanna go get him a new one." Luke nodded at Ted's explanation.

"Yeah, and he got all lovey-dovey with Ted. That's why he's always by his side. Funny thing is, that happened after Rex knocked Ted down and snatched his cowboy hat away a few times, trying to kill the black leather beast. Thus all the bite marks and the occasional hole in it. Ted put it on again and again, not giving a shit about Rex's opinion. Now Rex is used to it and accepts it as a part of Ted." Luke shrugged and laughed.

"Very funny," Ted retorted, rolling his eyes. Rex on the other hand barked in affirmation, which made Arcade snort. The dog seemed to agree with his master's opinion indeed. "Oh, look boy, the handsome doctor finds it funny as well. So go to him instead. He doesn't even wear hats. My, are you a lucky one!" Ted added with such blatantly feigned hurt in his voice that it mad Arcade laugh out loud  until he choked on his own laughing.

"Did you just call me handsome?" Now if this wasn't Arcade's lucky day. The man in front of him didn't mince words.

"Why yes, dear Sir. Would you like to examine me, Doctor Gannon? I think my heart just broke from your sweet, mocking laughter and Rex's impending leave! Maybe you can fix it." With that, Ted grabbed Arcade's right wrist, lifted his own tank top with his free hand and shoved Arcade's hand beneath it right to the place where his heart was.

Arcade was dazzled and as he looked up to look the other in the eye, the smirk had returned to Ted's face. The chest felt pleasantly sculpted and fuzzy. Arcade could hardly resist squeezing and brushing over the nipple. He didn't, it was a blatant offer after all.

"Ohoho, I can feel the heat rising," Luke announced jokingly, before a very drunk woman suddenly barged into the fort. What timing. Now she was the center of attention. She looked like a ginger cowboy, uh -girl, as well. Moreover she looked tough, tougher than any man around here, so cowboy could be the right expression after all.

Curious.

Ted was the one with the biggest muscle mass by far, but he had something explicitly soft about him, something she was lacking right now.

"Oh, soft boy waggling with his huge dick in front of another guy again, huh?" she asked challengingly, grinning widely and knowingly at Ted. "You're such a whore," she added, knocking Ted over by delivering a hard slap between his shoulder blades so that he fell forward right into Arcade's arms. The doctor made quite an effort to make sure he didn't tumble back at the weight and also made sure that the other man didn't fall to the ground; awkwardly hugging his midsection.

"What?" Arcade gasped, the other man's rather massive body restricting his ability to breath.

"Cass" Ted growled indignantly into Arcade's shirt while clasping at the doctor's coat as if he wanted to tear it off his shoulders. The sound was muffled but the volume of his voice was high enough that she could certainly hear the angered man too. Ted let go and straightened himself up again, rewarding Cass with a death glare.

"What? Don't gimme shit! I'm only tellin' the truth! People need to be warned about someone like you! Especially educated soft guys like him! I can see from miles afar that he's not the type for a fast fuck like you, such a cheap shooter if you know what I mean," she slurred and slung one arm around Arcade's shoulder, pulling him down to her level with astonishing force before she whispered, "Lemme give you some advice, Four Eyes Don't fuck around with whores. All pun intended. He's an old whore too, so you don't know what diseases you might catch even though I am sure he has a lot to offer if you're looking for it." If one looked closely enough, one could see the beads of sweat gliding down Arcade's forehead.

"You don't happen to be a man whore, do you?" Arcade asked, looking up at Ted while he was still being held in Cass' headlock, just to make sure that this was all a mistake.

"Only occasionally, when I really need the caps," Ted shrugged it off. It didn't seem to be a big deal for him.

Great. There it was; the hitch. At least one of them. There were certainly more. It was not as if being a whore was an unusual thing in their time, not at all, but somehow his confession stung. No wonder he had instantly hit on Arcade. This had to be some habit of his. Arcade was sure he'd even come on to Ghouls and Super Mutants, maybe even robots.

Ted simply added, "Not that I ever needed a lot of Caps to begin with, even less since I am accompanying our uncanny Courier here." He had said it so casually that Arcade almost  almost- believed him. The fact that he didn't need the Caps any more didn't mean that he didn't do it for free.

He supposed the man never had an empty bed despite his outer flaws. His body was far from perfect. He was in shape and sturdy; not lean if not downright kind of a hulk, his beer belly  not terribly large - was rather prominent through his always dirty tank top stained with beer or something like that  and blood  and  other things. All Rock 'n' Roll. His rather hairy skin was scarred here and there; his outfit was quite shabby all over. His blue jeans were washed out and torn in many places, the left pant leg ended just above the knee and damn, Arcade bet that there probably was some hole that showed a part of his ass as well, if not more than that. There was also a very prominent mass of dried blood surrounding a smaller hole in the right pant leg. He reeked of beer, some (not all that unpleasant smelling) sweat, dried blood, smoke, sex, and some cheap cologne. All things Arcade would usually have despised.

Why not now? Well, it had to be the damn raging hormones. When was the last time he had gotten laid? It had been too damn long.

Yet, it seemed as if the disgust in Arcade's face was clearly visible judging by the look Ted gave him and then the woman who he had called Cass. This was genuine hurt and disappointment. It was a pitiful sight actually.

"Rex, we are going. Don't expect us to be back anytime soon. We will find you if I think I can handle Cass' annoying presence again. Finally teach her to shut her unbearably insulting mouth, Luke!"

Thus, Ted ended the meeting and stomped out of the Fort. Well, limped out of it. There seemed to be something wrong with his left leg. Strange that Arcade hadn't noticed it before. It seemed as if Ted was really good at hiding his limping in his usual walk but not like this, not like some Brahmin that had gone mad.

And there it wasthe tear in his jeans that showed such a large amount of his ass that it even made whores blush.

"Hey, wait!" Arcade called after him, but stubborn men never listen. This one was no exception. Arcade sighed deeply and helplessly watched the gate a few moments longer until it snapped shut.

The other people in the Fort were looking strangely at the small group which Arcade was now a part of, but they decided to stay silent. They were nice and helpful people after all, just like him. Rightjust like him, only they lacked his sarcasm.

After this short but insightful intermission, Arcade was sure that it would never get boring with his new acquaintances as it so often was here in the Fort. On the other hand, there were certainly many hard days to come in more way than one way. A bunch of crazy fuckers just isn't easy to deal with. Arcade deemed it worth it.

Ted didn't show up for over a week. He was most likely bedding at least half of Freeside if you asked Arcade  or Cass.

During that time, Arcade also made the acquaintance of Craig Boone; a sniper who spoke a handful of words a day at best, whereas Cass couldn't be stopped from talking all their ears off most of the time she was bitching about Ted who seemed to be her personal archenemy for whatever reason.

"Sissy boy is gone again and we gotta do all the dirty work! I so hope he brings back some Caps. I'm so going to beat him up if he doesn't!"

"Are you his pimp or what?" Arcade asked with a sigh. That woman was drunk almost all the time and she was more than just slightly vulgar in that state. Craig grunted and groaned in a very irritated way, covering his ears with his hands. He was as red as a tomato. Easy to embarrass, Arcade noted.

"I certainly wish I was. Then I'd have more Caps for booze. Well, occasionally he is so nice and hands something over. I give him that. 'S just not 'nough."

"Does she ever shut up?" a sweet female voice called, before the woman with the hood who had just arrived turned to look at Arcade. "And who is this fine gentleman?" she carried on with a curious look on her face. She didn't need an answer to her first question because she knew it already.

Luke was the one who rose to speak so as to prevent Cass from releasing more loads of obscenities which she certainly had up her sleeve for Arcade as well.

That was how Arcade met Veronica too and found out that Luke was Cassidy's bitch (because she wouldn't keep her mouth shut no matter what efforts Luke made), not the other way round. Well, it didn't surprise Arcade much, actually.

The following week in Freeside consisted of many small or big tasks for the group around the Courier. They mainly helped the Kings and the Followers to keep order in Freeside, especially when it came to drug abuse. This was particularly notable since some of their group were obviously drug addicts as well; Cass and Ted at least, even though the latter was gone as if the earth had swallowed him up.

Not a single trace of him far and wide.

They stayed at the King's School of Impersonation to sleep the whole time because it was comparatively safe and they were most welcome there, even more so since they had prevented a violent run-in with the NCR.

Arcade shared a room with Veronica. She gently patted him on the shoulder as he sat down near the windowsill a few days after Ted had vanished, his green eyes looking out at the dimly lit street.

She was a most agreeable roommate and a great conversationalist.

"What's on your mind?" she asked with genuine concern in her voice. "You seem troubled."

Arcade's fingers tapped the glass next to him and he didn't look back at Veronica but kept his eyes fixated on what was going on outside of the window.

"Where is he?"

"The stray?" A heavy sigh left her lips. "Drowning his sorrow and probably beating up people as well, acting on his anger. Cass treats him real bad and Luke doesn't dare to intervene. He's really not a bad guy, just fucked up and with no purpose. So he comes along, stays for a while and then departs again. Not sure where. He never stays overnight, never did. He has become a little better since Rex is with him, though. And he really does give almost all the Caps he earns to Cass so that she shuts up. She usually does then. Ted's pockets are always empty, not that he actually has many pockets." Another sigh before she settled down next to Arcade who had turned his face to her instead of out the window, by now.

"He's just like that. He will come and stay - or he won't. He isn't called a stray for nothing. People fall for his charms but he bites and flees too easily. He pushes them away and keeps them at a distanceusually after fucking them. He often walks funny if you know what I mean."

"Oh" Arcade sighed, voice full of disappointment.

"Just don't start to become delusional like me, though. Heck, I'm even younger than you and I'm sounding a lot older. But what I wanted to say Don't think of him as a whore because I think this is exactly his problem. People see him as a whore, nothing more. And you don't want to see him as a whore; I can see it in your eyes. He does sleep with others for the Caps, but he doesn't enjoy it. Look into his eyes and tell me, it isn't a lonely man you see.

"Do you think, he'll come back?"

"Yes, when he's hungry again, for sure."

 _Hungry,_ Arcade thought. _Hungry for what?_


	2. Chapter 2

It was another day in Freeside where each of the Courier's group of companions had some time to themselves early in the morning before all the other upcoming tasks needed to be dealt with. Everyone did what they liked best and for the most part it worked out.

Naturally, Cass sat at the bar in the foyer of the King's School and drank her whiskey with abandon while Arcade was sitting on a couch in the same room and read through a few notes he had taken. They were mostly about the addicts in Freeside after he had seen and interrogated many of them in the streets. Most of them had been friendly, albeit not exactly reliable. Alcohol abuse was the most prevalent form of addiction along with smoking. However, the extent of the abuse was very different. He didn't know where to sort Ted in this regard even if it was obvious in Cass' case.

"Got some Caps to hand in, slut?" Arcade heard Cass yell in her typical brash vigour, making him look up with his eyebrows raised. Of course, he saw who he had expected to see. Speaking (or rather thinking) of the devil…

The other Kings had already learned to ignore Cass' vulgar outbursts and Ted, who was the victim of them. They had either gotten used to them and their bitching by now or they just didn't want to pick a fight. Arcade couldn't blame them because those two would probably hit back - hard. It was almost mysterious how they managed not to go for each other's throats.

Ted stayed silent and handed some whiskey bottles over to Cass, not even trying to stand up to her, "Just leave me alone."

"Sure thing, sissy, thanks. In case you have more whiskey, you know where you can find me," Cass cooed and turned her attention back to the bottles as if Ted had never been there in the first place.

Ted looked very tired with his eyelids almost closed, not looking at anyone but the dusty floor. Rex whimpered when his new master started to limp heavily through the room towards the staircase.

Arcade almost jumped up and ran over to him. "Let me take a look at it," he offered – or rather ordered.

"I don't want your pity. You really don't have to associate with the likes of me that you so utterly despise. Disgust on your handsome face doesn't really suit you." A forced smile came with the last sentence. "Really, leave me alone, it's nothing serious. It will go away by itself. I've been through worse."

When Ted was about to move on, Arcade just grabbed him by the shoulder and turned him around. It wasn't a tender gesture; it must have rather felt rough and agitated to Ted. "Listen, don't be ridiculous! I am a doctor and you are injured, so let me take a goddamn look at your leg! You're also completely wasted! You're not gonna make it any further than this room on your own!"

The tone worked wonders and Ted's jaw dropped as he spluttered a few nonsensical words. Arcade realised that Ted's leg must have been shot after taking a closer look. Fresh blood leaked through his jeans, most of it coming from the large hole Arcade had spotted little more than one week ago. The thick pus clinging to the cloth was not a pretty sight either. Without any further words, Arcade wrenched Ted off his feet bridal style.

The red haired man was flustered by the sudden assault, clasping the other's neck reflexively and as he opened his mouth, Arcade cut in, "I'm not letting you walk another step with that bullet in your thigh."

"This… is embarrassing," Ted noted in a not exactly embarrassed tone. His voice was as dry as a sandstorm in the desert; without its power.

"Go figure!" Arcade rolled his eyes. "You think limping through Freeside is less embarrassing? Just pull yourself together and take it like the strong man you are." Arcade carried Ted up the stairs to the room he and Veronica shared. Ted was staring at Arcade's face with half lidded eyes and widely dilated pupils. He was heavy but it wasn't that Arcade was all scrawny beneath his lab coat. He wasn't as broad as Ted but he surely was toned like a soldier and strong enough to carry a man this size.

The doctor laid his patient down on his bed, staring as intently at the other as the other had stared at him for whole time. Afterwards he put some latex gloves on and opened up the hole in the other man's pants further to examine the wound. It was as grisly as he had imagined: loads and loads of crust and pus in a colourful combination with fresh little streams of blood.

"How long have you been carrying this fucking bullet with you? Don't tell me it was since the day we met! It is, isn't it?"

"Well…" Ted shrugged.

"Shit!" Arcade cursed and violently grabbed Ted's thigh where this bullet had made its way into the flesh and Ted started to squirm and writhe on the bed. When the doctor noticed what he had done he did not bother to mumble an apology and instead fetched his doctor bag, taking out a bottle of purified water and another bottle of Iodine.

Meanwhile Rex sat down beside the bed and waited patiently. It was a good thing that he seemed to trust Arcade with the care of his master. Ted tried to be brave and grit his teeth against the pain but he could suppress all of the noises of pain wanting to escape. They weren't the slightest bit entertaining if you didn't happen to fancy charivari.

How on earth could a man walk around with a bullet in his leg for over a week and still be as 'lively' as Ted? If not for the stain and obvious hole from the bullet's entrance, one would have thought that he was perfectly fine since there was still lots of strength left in that tired fool. The alcohol could be one explanation, but like any other drug it wasn't a healthy one and wasn't fit for dealing with real problems.

When the cleaning was done, Arcade grabbed the bullet with a pair of pincers, removing it slowly before cleaning and bandaging the treated wound. He looked at Ted in concern and Ted looked back at him defiantly. Arcade noticed that he had fever as well when he pressed the back of his hand to Ted's forehead. The gesture earned him a distraught moan from Ted.

"You really want to die, don't you?" Arcade huffed.

"Am I so easy to figure out?" was the cynical response.

"Yes, you are." This was only a half-truth, but it seemed rather obvious. This kind of self-neglect and abuse was common behaviour in drug addicts. Arcade noted mentally while he was watching Ted, who tried to hold back a sudden sob.

"Oh… nice…" Ted answered. There was not even a hint of amusement. The hardly maintainable neutral tone was giving way to some miserable wailing. Arcade wondered if he had triggered something subconsciously. But instead of following it up, he passed Ted a bottle of purified water with the order to drink it all down. He did so in almost one gulp.

Even though the doctor was in a foul mood, he had mercy with his patient and injected him a load of Med-X. Ted would probably burst into tears otherwise and Arcade couldn't take it right now since he was sure it wasn't the physical pain that caused something so close to desperation within the man. When he was finished, Ted was already fast asleep.

Arcade bent over, unable to stop himself from checking the other's body for more injuries. He found none and let out a sigh of relief. Nevertheless, he discovered a new load of bullet scars. The man sure liked being shot. One of them was even tattooed where his heart was. It was slightly obscured by the body hair but still clearly visible. It looked rather real, but when Arcade brushed over it, there was no scar tissue.

This was morbid, really morbid. What would make a man do this? Was it the same reason Ted had almost started to cry?

With his thoughts floating around, he undressed Ted completely, hands casually gliding over the other's skin in the process, sometimes lingering for too long in one spot. In Arcade's opinion he really shouldn't have to sleep in these dirty clothes if it couldn't be helped. Arcade was not surprised that Ted didn't wear any underwear; it had looked like it before, anyway.

He tried hard not to focus on the nice package down there and the lovely feeling flashing through his veins whenever his hands touched the other's skin. Really, he was a doctor. This shouldn't be an issue at all. He was no teenager any more. That was a lucky occurrence; otherwise he would certainly have been rock hard by now.

Well, his trousers did feel a little tight, but it was tolerable.

He groaned and tried to focus on other thoughts. After sleeping Arcade would definitely drag the other to the bathtub and clean him up properly. Ted was grimy and probably hadn't had a good bath for at least a few days. He groaned again.

That image didn't help to get rid of his arousal either.

He placed the cowboy hat at Rex's paws so that the dog nuzzled it with his muzzle while Arcade sat down next to Ted, examining his scalp through the buzz cut. Nothing. He heaved a sigh of relief.

The second thing to do now was to take care of the clothes. A package of Abraxo Cleaner would hopefully do the trick. Fortunately the dirty clothes weren't really sexy in spite of the fact that they emitted Ted's personal smell with a strong force.

Shit.

Paying no heed to the needy response of his body, Arcade knelt down in front of the bathtub, doing the laundry with a severe frown on his face.

"Woah! Arcade, you're turning him into a domestic bow-wow I see," Veronica joked out of the blue. The doctor flinched at the sudden interruption and let out a snort shortly afterwards.

"Well, someone has to try, right?"

"True true; it's quite cute. I bet he starts eating from the palm of your hand; lying in your lap someday. I'm impressed. You are just what he needs."

"I wish," he muttered, feeling a little upset.

"Really?" she chuckled knowingly, "I knew it." This answer made Arcade grunt in annoyance.

"What do you _not_ know?"

"Nothing." She winked sweetly at him and took the dry clothes off the laundry line. "You can sleep in my bed today or go _cuddle_ with Ted!" Another wink and a faint laugh left her as she pointed at the bulge in Arcade's pants that was covered by neither his shirt nor his lab coat. Arcade followed the motion of her hand and let out a huff, lowering his head in embarrassment.

"I'm just heading over to see Craig; try to get him to talk. He's just as bad off as Ted. The guy needs some cheering up."

"Well, good luck with that."

"You too," she called back and when the door clicked shut, Arcade tried to scrub the clothes as clean as possible. Most of the stains came out but most of the smell remained, though it was a lot less obvious.

After hanging out the wash, Arcade sat down on Veronica's bed and ate a handful of Fancy Lad Cakes. He flung his lab coat over the nearby chair and unlaced his boots. He took another glimpse at Ted, who was snoring rather soundly. It was soothing oddly enough. Afterwards, Arcade grabbed one of his favourite pre-war books from the chair next to the bed Ted was sleeping in, settled back down on his new bed and started reading.

He wouldn't leave this room until Ted was awake again. This could take time. And it did. However, he could barely concentrate on the book until he had made enough efforts so that his excitement finally subsided.

When Arcade realized that Ted was about to wake up after several hours, he prepared a hot bath. "To the bath…now." he commanded, finishing up drawing the water, arms akimbo in front of the bed Ted was lying in.

"What?" the other asked sleepily with a frown on his face.

"You heard me," was the chiding response.

"Uh… alright, Sir." Ted slowly stood up, limping towards the bathroom. He climbed into the tub and Arcade pushed a cake of soap into the other's hands.

"Now, scrub yourself clean, alright? And take care of the bandage."

"You were in the military, weren't you?"

"Uhm… why?" Arcade asked, taken aback by the sharp notion of the other.

"You order me around like a pro. I fear that you'll shoot me in the head if I don't obey. Don't you carry such a creepy plasma pistol with you? Do you often imagine how I look as a pile of ash?"

Where the hell had Ted seen the plasma pistol? He had made sure that nobody noticed it...

"Stop implying such horrible things alright?" Arcade tried to deflect explanations he didn't want to give, kneeling down in front of the bathtub, looking straight and seriously into Ted's solemn eyes. "I would never do that… to you," he added to prevent the lie he would be doomed to tell if Ted went on probing into the matters of military organisations.

"You sure?"

"Yes," was the short and tight answer.

What he got to see now made Arcade's heart flutter quite a bit, melting his stiffness away in no time. Ted smiled. This was an honest smile, a warm smile. At first, only the corners of Arcade's mouth twitched until he smiled back in the same manner. His knees got a little wobbly, too.

"Wow, you got a pretty smile there," Ted remarked, still smiling.

"Thank you, the same to you," Arcade chuckled lightly. It seemed like an eternity that they were smiling at each other, acting as if it was the most natural thing in the world – until they were yanked out of their own little world.

"We gained access to the Strip," a dull voice that belonged to Craig Boone announced, making the two men turn their heads. "Oh… didn't mean to… interrupt… something," he added, his voice faltering. Why was the sniper so embarrassed?

"You didn't," Arcade said simply, starting to scrub Ted's back with another cake of soap.

Boone was immediately gone again.

Arcade realized what he was doing and he instantly knew that the bastard leaning forward in front of him to give Arcade better access to his back had only waited for this. He was even purring. "Well now, could you please start scrubbing yourself too? We gained access to the Strip."

"So what? It's not very likely that we can get a cheap place to stay anyway. This building here on the other hand, is perfect. So we can stay here while the others investigate there."

"How about this: in case we run out of Caps, you'll just go hustling."

"It would only make you jealous."

"You wish."

"Yeah, I do."

This was the first time the lovely bachelor was scooped off his feet. He dropped the soap and off he went into the bedroom with a more than slightly swift pace. _Shit! Shit! Shit! Think clearly, Arcade! Think clearly! The stray's trying to lure you!_ But instead of further flirtation he only heard a deep sigh and the splashing of water behind his back.

What should he do now? He sat down on the bed and looked at the ceiling. This was leading into a bad direction. This was happening too fast. Arcade didn't even know how much he could trust the other man. Arcade Gannon could be called the epitome of rigidity easily right now.

"Never mind. Sorry I said anything," Ted finally broke the silence when he stepped out of the bathtub and dried himself off with a towel. He approached Arcade and put his hands on his own after crouching down, still stark naked, obviously not caring that he was.

"Look, I really am sorry. I won't make a move on you again. Promise."

Arcade just gaped after Ted as he walked back to his bed. He had respect for the man who tried not to make him uncomfortable but the other's words left a bad taste in his mouth. He wasn't really uncomfortable, was he?

"By the way, thanks for washing my clothes, Arcade," Ted said.

"N-no problem." Ted slumped down on the bed heavily and cuddled up into the covers, obviously not intent on making it to the Strip. "So, you're really staying?"

"Yeah, my leg hurts and I'm of no real use except for whoring around."

"Don't say that. You'd make a great spy if you gave it a serious try."

"Yeah, sure. You forgot, I'm underdressed."

"A proper suit is all you need."

"Hah! Good thing I don't have one then. I'm a deadbeat and not charming at all right now." With that Ted shut his eyes and turned around to face the wall. Rex jumped on the bed as well and crawled beneath the covers. Ted didn't seem to mind.

As if being called, Luke peeked into the room before stepping in. "You're not coming, I suppose?" he asked Arcade taking a short glance at Ted's sleeping form.

"I don't know. Ted isn't coming at least. He's sleep deprived and he has an infected bullet wound."

"Tsk.." Luke hissed and placed a hand on his forehead. "Why does he always have to get into trouble like this? I don't even know why he always comes back. It's not like he has any interest in what I am doing. He's just _there_ … He doesn't really make himself useful either… other than… well, you know what." Luke went silent and when he didn't say anything else, Arcade started to speak again.

"Maybe he just hasn't told you yet what he really wants."

"Maybe I'm not even asleep, yet," Ted countered, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "I think it's none of your business."

"Oh, it isn't, Ted? Stop being all defensive! What if you're some Legion spy for example?"

These accusations made Ted spring to his feet, though he almost collapsed on the floor when he stood since his injured leg didn't want to support him as strongly had he had liked it to. His willpower alone hindered his left leg from breaking down. He moved in Luke's direction and seemed menacing in spite of or even because of his zombie-like walk.

"Say that again and I'll kill you! Kill you with my bare hands! I'm warning you!" he barked, grabbing Luke by the collar and Rex joined by his master's side, jumping out of the bed, baring his teeth in a snarl, acting as Ted's perfect mirror image.

"You better go to the Strip without me. I am fed up with you all annoying the shit out of me, especially your woman! I haven't done ANYTHING to her! Just keeps insulting me and ripping me off! Has anybody here ever cared for MY feelings? Since she's been with us, I can't find peace; not even for a minute whenever I'm with the group! She's driving me nuts! NUTS!" Ted seemed to be close to the edge of a frenzy and Rex sounded as angry as Ted, barking sharply between the man's sentences.

When Luke slapped Ted in the face, Rex attacked Luke, biting into his calf, running the Courier down. Ted fell on top of Luke, pushing him fiercely to the ground, delivering such a sound punch to Luke's nose that it cracked.

"Fuck! Stupid mongrel!" Luke howled in pain and drew his revolver, pointing at Ted then at Rex, hesitating to shoot, but intent on doing so if the situation escalated even more.

"Stop it!" Arcade shouted. He was surrounded by idiots! He grabbed Ted beneath the armpits, trying to haul him back. It was no use with such resistance coming from the man below; Arcade couldn't get the fighting men more than a few inches apart. "Ted, get off of him and call Rex back if you don't want one of you to die!"

"Rex, heel!" he commanded at an instant and the dog obeyed. Afterwards he let go of Luke's collar, pushed himself up, and got to his feet with Arcade's help. When Ted struggled against Arcade's touch, he let go before Ted went back to the bed and crawled beneath the sheets like a beaten dog. So did Rex, the cyborg dog just barked a few times at Luke before following his master.

Luke sat down on Arcade's bed fuming. Of course, Arcade knew what to do. He took care of the wounds in an instant. "What should I do with him?" Luke whispered feebly. Arcade lowered his voice so that Ted couldn't hear them. Who knew if he eavesdropped again?

"Cass is his most obvious problem. Keep them as far apart as possible. And don't question him. The Legion seems to be one of his weak points, too. And get him a proper suit and some faction uniforms instead - if possible. Well, not Legion armour, I suppose."

"So?"

"His eloquence and charm are most valuable. His perception is equally sharp. Talking saves up bullets and is a lot less attention attracting. Moreover you can do a lot more with information than with dead bodies. But give him one week or two to recover here. I will try to get him in a better mood." Arcade answered in an equally low voice.

"Arcade, I'm impressed by your suggestion, but he is the least charming and eloquent person I can imagine when he's not poaching people. I figure that you of all people noticed how nasty he can be. Moreover I am sure that I shouldn't get him an NCR uniform either."

"Why's that?"

"I'll tell you in time." Luke pointed at Ted before he added, "Or he does because he likes you anyway."

"Well, go and get Benny. I'm taking care of our scratching-cat. We will see how everything turns out. Send word to us if our assistance is needed. I hardly believe he would abandon friends in need and friends you are. He always comes back."

Luke nodded and rose, leaving the room with a limp and a wave of his hand. Arcade returned the gesture and lay down in his own bed after stripping to his underpants and placing his clothes and glasses neatly on the chair next to the bed.

He needed some sleep, too, after all.


	3. Chapter 3

"What's that melody?" Arcade mumbled into his pillow when he awoke. Turning his head to the side and opening his eyes, he caught Ted whistling the beautiful and sad melody. He had his arms crossed behind his head and Rex was lying on top of him, snoozing. Ted fondled Rex's chin while looking at the ceiling, totally lost in his own thoughts. After a shirt moment, however, he turned his head to look at Arcade, who was yawning heartily.

The day's sun was already setting, but the light that shone trough the windows was bright enough to still see everything clearly; it just added a mysterious touch to it.

The melody died as they locked eyes and there was a long, gaping silence, neither of them was able to break. Arcade could see Ted internally fighting with himself after he had put his glasses back on. Ted was gnawing at his lips so hard that they almost started bleeding and reached out for his pack of cigarettes and his lighter. He lit and began to suck on the white stick: fast, needy and deep. A second and a third cigarette followed. Nervous. Ted was nervous.

Ted's large and shabby military backpack was lying on the floor and was wide open. So there had the cigarettes come from. The butt of a hunting rifle peeked out of it. So did a few bottles of beer and a few more packs of cigarettes. Arcade wondered if Ted could handle the rifle in a drunken state. Probably he could since Arcade doubted that Ted was a man who was sober very often.

After a few drags of the third cigarette, Ted began to speak. "Thanks for saving my ass. And Rex's, too," was the meek try to start something like a conversation. It sounded honest and truly embarrassed this time.

"My pleasure," Arcade responded with a small smile. Ted was looking away and awkwardly patted the casing of Rex' brain, taking faster nervous looking drags from the cigarette.

"I gotta go," he suddenly announced and got up after Rex had jumped out of bed as if he had exactly know what his master was about to do. Ted rushed into the bathroom and grabbed his clothes in such a rapid fashion that Arcade could easily count from ten to one by the time Ted was finished and dressed. The man grabbed his rucksack and tore the door open, running out of the room and down the steps with Rex in tow as fast as he could. The stomping footsteps were impossible not to hear. He better didn't come back shot as bullet-attractive he was.

Had the Stray gone all shy on him? Arcade couldn't help thinking of this as a good sign. A grin crossed his face. Ted was warming up to him somehow and not in a sexual way, but an emotional way. It was apparent that it made Ted uncomfortable. With Arcade it had exactly the opposite effect. Profound sympathy was always a good starting point.

Before looking after Ted, it was time for a hot and relaxing bath. It was rare that he had the opportunity in this wasteland full of waste.

Stretching himself in the bathtub, he realized that it could have been bigger for his tall frame but it was nice, oh so nice, letting the hot water enveloping his body. At least they had something like bathtubs and nicely scented soap here. It was pure luxury in here… unlike Old Mormon Fort.

He was lost in his fantasies and dreams. He was so tired of being all alone. He yearned for true companionship and the opportunity that Ted posed was just too tempting to be left. Even though Luke was the one who had invited him to come along, he was drawn to Ted like a moth to a flame.

He knew that he would burn himself multiple times. He just got this feeling… and his feelings scarcely betrayed him.

Arcade dressed himself after a good hour of wonderfully thoughtful leisure and walked down to the kitchen. He decided for a Brahmin steak – a big one. He was so hungry, it was almost ridiculous. His stomach not only growled ferociously but churned from emptiness as well. Fortunately, he knew he could help himself here. In fact, the group around Luke had done so the whole time, so this wouldn't be any different now. His mouth was watering when he prepared the dish; his eyes were already eating before his mouth had even the chance. Arcade was definitely not the best cook, but his cooking was edible all the same. It didn't matter that his steak tasted a bit like the sole of a shoe. In fact, he wasn't used to something better.

 _All those kids around here…_ he thought while he was looking around and showing the meat into his mouth like some greedy Deathclaw. A lot of the Kings around were easily ten or fifteen years younger than him. They eyed him downright suspiciously. Probably many of them were drug addicts who feared that he could take their drugs away to 'help' them. Usually drug addicts didn't want to be helped if it couldn't be helped.

"Guys? I'm just eating, all right?" Arcade huffed.

"Then why are you watching us so closely?" one of the young men asked boldly.

"Because it's rare to have a whole house full of many lovely young fruits that just wait to be taken care of," Arcade deadpanned and earned an utterly astonished face from the young man who had just asked.

"What the?"

"Yeah, you heard right. I am here to take care of you, _good_ care of you," Arcade answered suggestively which made the young man make a few steps backward. Then, Arcade laughed enthusiastically. He was greatly amused by this. It was so easy to startle people.

"Where has he gone?" Arcade asked in a suddenly much more serious voice that sounded harsh and very demanding.

"Your aggro friend? Backyard; where he always goes with his tons and tons of beer when he feels like it - which is quite often. We're ordered to leave him alone. Not a really mellow fellow, the guy. An' Rex is getting agitated very easily when he is. The dog likes biting calves."

This didn't sound as if Ted was everybody's darling, now even more than ever. He remembered Luke's words about Ted being able to be the most obnoxious person ever when he's not poaching people. He had gotten a glimpse of what his conniptions might be like when he had attacked Luke. But that didn't scare Arcade. There was no use in being scared when you were Enclave born.

"Thanks." That being said, Arcade shuffled through the rooms until he had found the back door. It was strange that he downright had to pry it open. It was… locked. He looked around and didn't notice anyone in the corridor who could complain, so he just kicked the door open with one of his heavy boots. The wood splintered and left an opening that was wide enough to step through while crouching.

He was neither greeted by angry yelling nor by heavy barking. No, those two were lost to the world.

Ted drank lots of beer, indeed. There were at least twelve bottles scattered around the campfire. It had been only about two hours… two hours! No wonder the whole backyard smelled of piss. Ted was staring into the flames, facing the door and humming the familiar melody again.

The backyard was moderately large and filled with rubble, surrounded by tall walls. The only thing that lit the dark place was the cackling fire and a few lit windows from the upper floors.

"Ted?" Arcade stepped closer and eyed Ted looking up slowly.

That sudden, goofy grin that he got as an answer after Ted had stopped humming took Arcade's breath away. It was quite endearing to Arcade and he slowly sat down across from his… friend? The flames flickered between them – literally more than figuratively even though Arcade knew that that might not have been entirely true. Well, of course, it wasn't.

When Arcade examined at the grinning face closer, he could see the flames melting all the stage make-up away. Those eyes were crying out for help deep down.

"What is it, Sleeping Beauty?" Ted asked, slurring a little, his face and forced cheery tone already falling dangerously.

Arcade gulped; he was tempted to take advantage of the drunken man and felt guilty by the mere thought alone. Ted looked so outspoken in his state of drunkenness that Arcade deemed this to be an excellent chance to get him to know better, get him to talk; especially since they were alone again. Well, almost… Rex was with them too, as always.

"I just wanted to keep you company," he finally stated gently.

"Why? To pump me for information? Well, go ahead. I might tell you one thing or another." Arcade sighed. Ted was even offering to take advantage of him. Well, never look a gift horse in the mouth.

"What's that sad melody?" The drunken man chuckled - not very convincingly.

"It's my personal theme song, mind you." Ted's tone was half joking and half snappish.

"Oh, then you are quite full of yourself, I guess."

"Well, at least I got to be full of myself if nobody else gives a damn."

"If nobody gave a damn about you, you'd be completely alone now. But you aren't."

"You of all people should know that there is a difference between caring and _caring_. A doctor might care about his patients but it's questionable if he _cares_ about them. I think you get me. You're the smartest person I've ever met."

"Have you ever slept with Luke?" Arcade asked out of the blue. Stupid question; he knew the answer already anyway. Luke had implied it multiple times.

"What? Why are you asking me this now?"

"Answer me and you'll see." This wasn't about the question if Arcade _cared_ for Ted, but why Ted felt so horribly worthless even if he denied it so much. In fact, it was no foreign feeling to Arcade.

"Why, yes! Rolls both ways, our dear Courier. Our dear Courier rolls both ways. But I've actually never been really 'together' with him. I said, 'Look, don't want a relationship right now, 'm not ready for this. Let's just have some noncommittal fun.' Fuck buddies. You know, I'm actually more of a loner anyway. Hardly know how to take proper responsibility for somebody else, not any more at least. It has become… hard to let true feelings slip, to care for somebody properly. Rex here has become kind of an exception. When I take care of somebody, I want to do it right. If I can't, I won't take care at all."

Bingo! A bit more prodding and he would have the other spill his guts. Arcade felt really bad for doing this but it had to be done to understand the man better. He was glad that Ted dropped people completely rather than playing around with them for too long in order to get hopes up. Did he ever sleep with one person twice?

"How is it so easy for you to handle people if you're such a loner?"

"It isn't… any more. It only looks like it was because I'm a showman." There was a thoughtful pause, "Well, let me explain. I've not always been a loner, actually. Had my voice, had my guitar, was really popular. Had lots of friends - but none of them stayed with me. Sold themselves to the Legion. We were free spirits, goddmmit! Why did they want to succumb to a life that is all about slavery and domination? This was insane and not in a good way!"

So this was what infuriated Ted when it came to the Legion; it wasn't only their principles but his personal loss.

"That was when I stopped trusting people. Gonna leave you anyway, those dumb fucks. Promise them power, tell them they're something better than all other people and they will follow you. It's sick; many humans are like that. NCR isn't much better than Legion. You can't trust nobody; they will prey on your soft spots and eat you alive – if they want it or not. It just happens. I haven't become a whore for the money by the way; it was just a convenient side-effect," Ted drawled the words out and for a short time, Arcade got another glimpse of genuine sadness flashing over his face, piercing through all the anger and distress. Ted didn't want to give away his weak spots but did so all the same. He had been abandoned by everyone he cared for…

"After they were gone I started to sell myself. Kept me company, sex an' delirious fun – to make me forget for a short time. Nothing more though; doesn't help in the long run. Keeps my thoughts drifting back to –" Ted stopped again, scrunching up his nose, "But let's not talk about this shit, alright? You're ruining my mood," which hadn't been there to begin with in Arcade's opinion.

"I… I didn't meant to," was the soft reply. Arcade shuffled a little bit closer to Ted and squeezed the other's shoulder in order to offer some comfort.

"I'm glad Luke's happy with Cass even though I hate her. He once said, totally gushing over her, 'Ted, she really makes me feel like a woman.' And then I answered him, 'Well, Luke, this is the right woman for you then. Go for her.' Luke started to attach himself too much to me, really. Begging me to stay when I wanted some alone time. I never stay…-ed over night. He needed attachment while I needed detachment. This was bad for him; he needed someone else. He wanted to be friends, lovers… but I can't be friends or lovers with anybody any longer. And seriously, Cass should stop telling everyone that she doesn't like soft guys like me. Hah! What is _Luke_ if I am already a soft guy for her? Mister Down Pillow?" Ted let out a rumbling laugh that suddenly subsided and turned into deathly silence after a few smothering coughs. He shook his head and looked away from the fire to obscure his face in the shadows.

"You're jealous."

"Not jealous of either of them, jealous of what they have and what I've lost – never to be found again. As I said, Luke offered me friendship, maybe even love, but I declined because I can't give him what he wants."

This was definitely a very hard thing to say and it hurt, hurt Arcade so much that he had flinched as the other had said it.

"But you still matter a lot to Luke. There is no way, his glances could lie. The dog sure loves you as well," Arcade answered with a pensive look at the canine nuzzled between Ted's legs. The dog and Luke weren't the only ones who had learned to cherish this cowboy around forty who was so sad and lonely behind this mask of the ultimate player. And damn, this mask was almost perfect, so perfect it seemed to have become the reality. Arcade had been the victim of that perfect mask in the beginning after all. But there wasn't a mask now, this was the human, Arcade had been so keen on discovering, the human who _cared,_ the human who was _able to care_.

"Yeah, he surely does. And he's the only one who does. Lucky Luke said I could have him since he would only stay with me anyway. And gonna go to Jacobstown to get my boy's brain right again." With those words, he gently patted the cyborg dog's head. Had he failed to think about what Arcade had said about Luke, what Ted himself had said about Luke? Arcade shook his head sorrowfully.

"Doctor Henry is the right address, your Followers friend told us… Julie if I recall it right." Arcade cringed at the name… Henry. Surprisingly, Ted noticed it and asked, "You know him? Wanna come along, too? Might be a good chance to catch up on old friendships again, eh?"

Arcade was glad that Ted didn't probe further. Tentatively, he nodded. That would give them more time to spend together, just the two of them; exactly what Arcade wanted now that he had come to the conclusion that Ted was indeed worth a try, a serious one.

"Great, so this is settled then. Give him a hug, Rex. He's one of us from this very second on. Now that we are three, we can call us a pack."

This was the second time when the lovely bachelor got scooped of his feet when the dog knocked him over and licked his face before nuzzling his cheek. Well, he would have liked it more if Ted had done this, but he could not rush things now. The bond was too fragile and if he didn't try to make it solid, Arcade knew that he would end up as another one-time-fuck on the road to nowhere.

Right now, Arcade was the one whose face was plastered with a goofy grin while he was still lying on his back, breathing in and out calmly while Rex was lying across his torso, having found the perfect pillow. The stars were glimmering brightly tonight; they were their witnesses.

Ted bent over Arcade, smiling with half-lidded blue eyes and thrust a bottle of beer into his hand, forming his mouth to a kiss. Arcade's mouth went dry; how often had that happed this evening already? Definitely too often. He sat up so that Rex slid into his lap and stared at the cap. He had no idea how to get rid of it without some tool. He didn't particularly like beer, but he wanted to show Ted that he appreciated what the other was offering.

Ted laughed – really laughed - and wrenched the bottle from Arcade again before he brought the closed bottle to his mouth and handled the cap with his teeth easily. He spat it to the ground instead of pocketing it and handed the bottle back, slinging the other arm around Arcade's shoulders, pulling him closer.

He could feel the other's warm breath ghosting over his cheek. The smell of booze seemed to be omnipresent. Strangely, it wasn't disgusting, coming from the other. Ted's lips didn't touch his skin; instead he solely pressed his cheek against Arcade's. It was tender and sweet, the sideburns tingling Arcade's reddened cheek. Ted took a sip from his bottle and Arcade did, too. Then, Ted opened his mouth, "Hey, Ar-" Arcade cut him off with brushing his thumb over the other's lips and receives a kiss to the fingertip, then two.

What a pity that Ted was drunk. Who knew how much he'd remember when he was sober again. After Arcade had put his own bottle down, he gently seized the other's bottle and put it down as well. A long, deep hug followed. Instantly, Ted was clinging to him like there was no tomorrow and Arcade tightened the grip. Ted needed the affirmation so badly and so did Arcade.

This was enough. He wouldn't make the other talk in this state any more. It was sly and Arcade wanted to be honest with this man. When Ted pressed his lips to Arcade's neck tenderly, he leaned further into the touch. How could he resist?

"Stop." When Ted tried to kiss him square on the lips, Arcade brought his hand on the other's lips and pushed him back. "Stop it… for your own sake."

"Why? I want it. You want it too."

"That's not the point." Arcade looked at Ted who was looking at him blankly. Arcade tried to stand up to avoid further complications, but Ted yanked him back by the wrist right into his arms. There was another hug that yearned for commitment and comfort.

"Don't go, please don't go. I'm sorry," Ted whispered, burying his face in the crook of Arcade's neck.

"I won't." Arcade cradled the older man in his arms, stoking his backside up to his head before he rested one hand in the other's hair, drawing him even closer. He felt Ted's tears against his neck, but the man didn't make a single sound other than the laboured but calm breaths. Ted had fallen asleep after a few minutes because there it was again: the sound - the snoring. Arcade smiled to himself.

This was definitely something he could get used to.


	4. Chapter 4

Author's Comment: Sorry that it took me so long! I hope you enjoy this chapter! :)

A lovely, familiar-smelling, manly torso was not what Ted had expected when he woke up. He inhaled the musky scent and buried his face even deeper in the other man's slightly hairy chest while tightening the embrace he was already in. It was cosy, it was safe, it was love.

No, wait. This couldn't possibly be; it had to be a dream. When Ted recognized whose chest exactly it was and why that scent was familiar, he recoiled from the body downright in horror and landed sprawled backwards on the floor with a loud thud and a groan. Wishful thinking hadn't brought him back; the one who wasn't Arcade, the one he had been yearning for so many years after the ugly separation that had so utterly destroyed him.

"Afraid of me, huh?" Arcade asked with slight amusement and a raised eyebrow.

"Yeah – well, uh – no. I liked it and that's the problem. Uhm, we didn't?" There was a pause, "I didn't?"

"No, you didn't make me uncomfortable," the doctor snickered with a bright smile on his face, holding out a hand to help Ted up. This smile was sweet and just now, Ted realised what he was thinking. Then he rolled his eyes with a huff. Why on earth did he always make a fool of himself in front of Arcade? Moreover, he usually hated sleeping together with other people in one bed except for one person. Why hadn't he woken up a lot earlier, anyway? Ted still felt a bit drowsy, so the alcohol hadn't completely worn off, yet. Maybe the alcohol was a sound explanation for all this. But was it the alcohol's fault that he had been so comfortable in Arcade's arms? He eyed the hand, but refused the gesture with a head shake.

He didn't want to get anybody's hopes up; they would end up shattered in a garbage bin in the end anyway – Arcade's hopes as well as his own. Ted held Arcade in too high regard to disappoint him like that. He was special to Ted, and that meant Arcade needed to be confronted with the hard truth before he got all the wrong impressions.

In the meantime, Rex was peeking out from under the covers, resting either beneath or on top of Arcade's lower legs, barking happily. Damn, the three of them were almost like a goddamn family. And all of Ted's hopes were already shattering in his mind.

Finally, Ted hoisted himself up on his elbows and gazed into Arcade's green eyes, not bothering to get back to his feet. Randomly, he noticed that he was naked. Well, no big deal, he often was. If Arcade was, too, had they slept with each other? Arcade hadn't given him an answer at this point. Arcade also didn't look as if he had been put off by it, if that was the case. He looked thoughtful, though.

"So?" Ted asked expectantly.

"So what?"

"Did we have sex?"

"Is everything about sex to you, or what?"

Not this again… Ted felt a bolt of anger flashing through him. His heart bumped violently against his ribcage as he clenched his fists. Why was he off his rocker with this man, anytime they had contact? Those questions simply went too far!

"No, and that's exactly the point!" Ted hissed through grit teeth – and realised that he had truthfully answered one of those questions again.

Arcade looked flabbergasted. So did Ted. He shouldn't have said that. Remember, don't trust nobody, Ted reminded himself. There was the short flicker of a memory. He had said those words recently.

"No, we didn't sleep with each other," Arcade finally answered cautiously, scrutinizing him.

Ted heaved a heavy sigh of relief, relaxing before he became as stiff as a poker again. It suddenly felt as if the other wanted to undress his soul, but Ted hoped this wouldn't happen. He wasn't sure if it wouldn't, sooner or later. All control was somehow lost. It happened all too fast.

And why had he been in bed together with Arcade at all?

"So why have we slept in the same bed?"

"You begged me not to go, and when you fell asleep in the backyard, I carried you back to our room and stayed with you for the night."

"What? I'd never say such a thing. I was drunk, right? Yeah, I must have been. So forget it."

"May I point out that I hardly believe that you're sober very often. Moreover, you're lying to yourself. You might have told me because you were drunk, but your feelings were pretty much real."

"No! How dare you make such assumptions? How would you know? You don't know me – at all!"

He hated to admit that Arcade could see through his façade and he liked the guy for it, he truly liked him. Still, it was unfortunate that he couldn't cope with this circumstance.

Ted jumped back to his feet despite the badly healing bullet wound in his thigh, and limped into the bathroom to take a piss. It was a long, angry piss. He had his dick in such a tight grip that it hurt.

"There is no need to hurt yourself, you know?" When Ted turned his head, he saw Arcade leaning against the doorframe, eyeing him with a serious frown. His eyes wandered from Ted's face to his dick and back up again. There had been no mockery in his tone.

"I," Ted gave his dick an extra tight squeeze, his face distorting in pain involuntarily, "can," another squeeze in the same manner, "hurt myself AS MUCH AS I WANT TO!" Ted growled in his trademark manner and shot Arcade a death glare.

"You're being defensive – and act like a spoiled child. Calm down, already." Unimpressed by the other's furious behaviour, Arcade made a few steps towards Ted, grabbed said man's right wrist, and yanked it hard. He spun Ted around and grabbed his other wrist, dragging him away from the toilet bowl and pushing him against the tiled wall. He moved his head close to Ted's. He held onto the wrist forcefully, narrowing his eyes to slits, "Remember what we talked about last night!" The proximity of their bodies and the shared heat did wake memories indeed. It dawned to Ted and his eyes went wide, boring into Arcade's with something akin to fear.

"Shit!" Ted's mind was racing. This man knew too much already. The fear made him gulp, made him sweat. He felt totally cornered by the taller man in front of him.

Arcade's facial expression softened as he placed a chaste kiss on Ted's cheek. That was a rather courageous move, because Ted wasn't known for being pacifistic when he was upset; even Arcade should have noticed that by now.

"I'm not your enemy," Arcade whispered into the other's ear, before he loosened the grip on Ted's wrists. Ted's arms slumped down next to him heavily, his palms brushing the cold tiles, trying to hold on, but the slippery surface didn't let him. He leant against the wall helplessly, still looking straight into Arcade's eyes while sliding down the wall. He wanted to believe Arcade but how could he? He had stopped believing, hadn't he? And yet he had trusted Arcade more than he ever wanted to admit to himself. Arcade's gaze didn't waver, not a single bit. He just stood there, serious and determined: the exact opposite of Ted's trembling form.

"I'm sorry," Ted rasped, slumped on the floor, breaking the eye contact so as to stare at Arcade's naked feet.

"Don't be. You did nothing wrong." The sound of the doctor's voice was more assuring than Ted had expected it to be.

"I'm doing you wrong, that's what. I think I should go. I need to think."

"Fleeing will solve nothing. Your troubles will always find you. They will become inevitable, sooner or later. So better face them sooner than later." Arcade knelt down in front of Ted, grabbed him by the shoulders and pulled him up.

"I'm not –" Ted began, but was bluntly interrupted:

"Instead of running away, you could come with me. I want you to meet someone."

The urges that were quelling up in Ted were hard to keep under control. He wanted to thank Arcade, he wanted to punch him, and he wanted to kiss him: none of those things he did though; he only nodded and followed.

***

When they arrived at the Old Mormon Fort, Arcade guided Ted to one of the fortified towers. He unlocked the door silently and motioned Ted to follow. When they arrived at a mattress placed further in the dimly lit room, Arcade pointed at a sleeping form on top of it. That person was covered by a thick, woollen blanket, hung by a drip and looked exhausted. The auburn locks clung matted to her cheeks, thick beads of sweat covering her face.

"She's related to you," Arcade stated matter-of-factly.

A girl, then… she was at the age of thirteen, maybe, definitely not older. Ted wondered why he wasn't mortally scared since he had every reason to be. However, he remained calmer than he had ever been in Arcade's presence. Apathy was a good way to protect oneself.

"The resemblance is hard to miss, isn't it? I looked like that at her age – exactly like that."

Nonchalantly, Ted withdrew an old folded photograph from his backpack and handed it over to Arcade who unfolded it carefully. It was showing a boy – Ted - in his early teens, hugging somebody from behind whose face was invisible because the picture ended where the face would have begun. The picture had been torn apart. All that was visible were some short honey blond waves that contrasted Ted's auburn hair. Little Ted looked incredibly happy, laughing into the camera with his head resting on the head beneath his own. The photo looked like an accident, and yet the capturing of a very precious moment in Ted's life – only that the lower part of the photo was gone - on purpose. The worn condition of the picture only emphasised its age, and how often the picture had been folded and unfolded. It was something Ted could not let go of. Many tears had flown across the tarnished paper over all the years.

"However, I'm not the father." It was a thought spoken out loud and not meant for anyone but Ted since Arcade's presence was completely gone in Ted's mind. If Ted had been the father, he wouldn't have left his child. He was no saint but he wasn't a monster either – at least not… His flow of thoughts stopped as the hard truth became aware to him: he was a monster. Ted's eyes were filled with sadness and yet the expression changed as fast as it had occurred and made way to a hard glare. He had made the father abandon his child.

"I've never slept with a woman at that time. She's my brother's child. She has to be," Ted went on with his conversation with Arcade, Ted wasn't even aware of. That stupid sod of a brother… And the realization finally struck him. Ted felt his heart break all over again. It had always been his brother who had broken it. It was harder and harder to patch up by every remnant his brother was leaving behind for him to see. So this was the child of the woman Bob was seeing back then? Ted had destroyed that relationship intentionally. He had faced his brother with a decision: She or him. When they had run away together, the best time of his life had begun, until his brother had ended this dream come true by betraying him once more. If Arcade listened closely, he would be able to hear a faint sobbing sound coming from Ted.

"Her mother shot her a month ago. She barely survived." Arcade yanked Ted out of his memories.

Ted knew that he had been the one who had destroyed the mother's dream of a little, happy family in this shithole of what had remained of the world. Yet, he felt no remorse for the woman. He had been there before her, long before her. But what he did feel was pity for the girl.

"Ted?" A gentle hand came to rest on his shoulder. Ted stayed mute for the next ten minutes, his eyes glued to the sleeping form in front of him as if he was paralysed. Meanwhile, Arcade's eyes were boring into him, but it wasn't unpleasant at all. Arcade was patient with him, letting him process all the information that had just poured down on him. There was a squeeze at last - and a questioning look.

"She was shot because of me."

"What are you talking about?" Arcade's grip became tighter, ready to hold Ted back, who made the first movements of retreat. Instead of giving an answer, he ran away, violently shaking the other off. Rex didn't follow this time.

Outside, Ted inhaled the air sharply. He needed to calm down - at any rate. There was no place for the weak in this world. The only thing the Legion was actually right about.

Ted scudded through Freeside until his feet betrayed him. He was horribly disturbed. The tears were running down his face openly. His past was haunting him in the most merciless way he could imagine. He felt responsible for so many things he didn't want to be responsible for. 'All is fair in love and war,' was the famous saying, and that tedious bitch had tried to hold Bob back at any cost. She had told him, she was pregnant. Yes, she had been, but Ted hadn't cared. He still didn't. There was no place in his younger brother's life for a wife and a child, when there was his brother who loved him more than anybody else could. Ted had played dirty, as dirty as he had never thought himself capable of. He had threatened Bob's woman and Bob alike; he was the reason Rebecca had hated him so much – and everyone who looked like him.

And what did Arcade expect from him? Did he really expect that he, of all people, could take care of a teenager? He could barely take care of himself.

So Ted went straight to the Atomic Wrangler – the playground for the adult child that he was.

He didn't have any Caps, but it didn't matter. A fuck with the boss and the problem was solved. Some things such as this tended to be that simple.

James was too understanding, though. He was treating Ted almost like he was his boyfriend, and it was annoying as hell.

"What's wrong with you, honey?"

"James, why do you care? I'm just paying back debts – or paying in advance moreso!" Ted sounded extremely exasperated and threw his hands up in horror. He undressed quickly, threw the few clothes he wore into a corner, and positioned himself backwards on the bed with spread legs. James eyed him with raised eyebrows, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

"You are ruining the mood, you mean," James huffed drily.

"You wanted a fuck, I give you a fuck, so what's the problem, Mr. Garret?"

"You're so unprofessional."

"I never was a professional to begin with."

"But I know you can do better. You've been wonderful the past few times, and now?"

"Because I was paid and I was in a better mood than I am now." Ted rolled over and situated himself on his hands and knees, shoving his rear into James' view. "Now come on, and let's get it over with."

"No, get out of here – out of the house," the other man stated flatly, lighting a cigarette.

Ted made a face and put his clothes back on, snarling, "Fine, you ass! Go and fuck yourself then!"

Back on the streets, he didn't know where to turn. The hot, dry air was unsettling after the pleasant coolness of the Atomic Wrangler. The sight of muggers, cheap prostitutes and more junkies didn't help improve his mood, either.

"Fucking hell!" he muttered, shuffling along the streets with a lowered head. He didn't care for his surroundings, for the odd looks, for the pitiful looks, for the despising looks.

Since he wasn't able to get booze in a legal way, he simply mugged the ones weaker than him. He was comparatively gentle though, trying not to hurt the other alcoholics. The same went for those he deprived of cigarettes.

He didn't sell his body any longer. He suddenly saw no need any more. He could just get what he wanted by force. He was definitely strong enough to do so. The people were lucky, he didn't beat, rape or kill them. One person more who just took what they wanted wouldn't hurt. Ted even gloated over the feeling that most people here had been living in fear of him since they had made acquaintance with his brutish ways, which he could easily support with his physical force. This was equally as easy as fucking around, just that it was less distressing in the long run. He just needed to take; there was no need to give and it felt relieving. The burden he had constantly been carrying around was gone at once.

Indeed, he knew how to handle his rifle in a drunken state. The butt of the weapon was a useful beating stick. His former training proved to be most useful when Ted experienced resistance. Truth be told, he was violent if anybody dared to give him the slightest reason to be.

"What are you doing, you crazy shithead?" a somewhat weary even if clearly agitated and loud voice yelled.

"I'm taking what I claimed mine right now," Ted growled, snatching a bottle of whiskey out of a poor man's hand. The man was old and downright skeletal, and had nothing to stand up to Ted with, other than his brave mouth. "Stay the fuck put or I will crush you like an insect!" Ted threatened with the bit of good-will that was left in him.

"Oh, you must be very strong, threatening an old man who has nothing else to indulge in than a bottle of fine booze."

"I didn't ask for your opinion." Ted took a sip from the bottle, then two, then three, delivering a sound kick into the man's midsection with every sip. The cracking of bones turned out to be sweet music in his drunken haze. The man collapsed and stopped moving, lying lifeless in the dirty alley. Ted shrugged it off. One unhappy fucker less on this rotten earth. He had done the man a favour.

But it didn't always go that well. By the end of the week, Ted was covered in bruises and scratches, since there had been a few guys who had not been that defenceless. He was limping even more than before, but he was alive. He was breathing. It was all that mattered.

But what mattered out here? There was nothing worth to carry on. He was alone, completely alone. He wouldn't have to be alone, would he? There were people who still cared about him, people he cared about even though the admission was almost impossible to bear. He just had to go back. It should have been as simple as running away.

Eventually, he decided to return home – well, no, not home – back to the responsibility he had never accepted before. He went back to a different kind of challenge than the one out here. It took more strength to be nice than to be an ass. It took more strength to recover from your wounds than to succumb to them.

Why exactly he returned, he didn't know since there were hardly any hopes left in Ted that he would succeed in anything that lay before him, but against his better judgement he did. It couldn't get any worse, after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am grateful about feedback. :)


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